evoted toThis section is d bringing U all, some time of laughter in your little insignifigant lives.
SOME OF THESE JOKES ARE ADULT IN NATURE. PLEASE
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Q:Why did the blonde throw bread crumbs into the toilet?
A:To feed the toilet duck
Q: What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
A: Thanks for the refill
Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom
of the pool?
A: Air bubbles
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress
Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering
wheel?
A: An Air Bag
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q:What do you call 10 blondes standing in a
row?
A:A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's
head?
A: A Space Invader
Q: What's a blondes favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the
head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it
Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas
station?
A: The Air Pump
Q: What does Bones McCoy say before he performs
brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier
Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear
Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears
Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy?
A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making
chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an
M&M factory?
A: Proofreading
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from
the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's
Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route
Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked
over the priceless Ming vase?
A: It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of
a tree?
A: Wave to her
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool
A2: Don't tell her to swallow
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool
Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings
?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't They're born that way
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box
lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to
work or coming
home
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them
Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff
Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using
the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white out
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once
Q: Why do blondes write TGIF in the bottom of
their shoes?
A: To remind them - Toes Go In First
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent
from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over
their faces?
A: From eating with forks
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the 11 in 911
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jell-O?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little
packages
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the
morning?
A1: Introduces themselves
A2: Walks home
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A1: What s a lightbulb?
A2: One She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her
A3: Two One to hold the Diet Pepsi and one to call "Daaady"
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde,
and a smart blonde are walking down
the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A1: The dumb blonde - because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the
tooth fairy,
or a smart blonde
A2: None of them, two don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum
wrapper
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off
a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer^Òs
disease?
A: Her IQ goes up
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde
and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations
Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a
penny for her thoughts?
A: Change
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution
of higher learning?
A: A visitor
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde
on either side?
A: An interpreter
Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with
a brief case?
A: Branch Manager
Q: What do you call a smart blond? A1: A golden
retriever
Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's
eyes?
A: The back of her head
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their
hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand
grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip
cookies?
A: 10 - One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B-L-O-N - ah, oh well. I'm blonde,
I'm blonde, yea yea yea"
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the
freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold
Q: Why did the blonde cross the road?
A: I don't know (Neither did she)
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks
on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said DON'T WALK
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in
her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine
cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she
finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6
months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into
a box of Cheerios?
A: Oh look - Donut seeds
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A1: So
brunettes can remember them
Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH,
VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light
Q: If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge,
who would die first?
A: The brunette -- because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.
Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4
Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea
in the morning?
A: It swells at night
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with
a pig under her arm. She passes a person
who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says - I won her in a raffle
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked
if he should cut it in six or twelve
pieces.
A: Six please. I could never eat twelve pieces
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that
90% of accidents occur around the
home?
A: She moved
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A blonde parade
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?
A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to piss in the corner
Q: How do you confuse her even more?
A: Ask her where she peed
Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine
Q: How does a blond spell farm?
A: E - I - E - I - O
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin
at you?
A: Run like Hell - she-s got a hand grenade in her mouth
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her
hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange
juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said concentrate
Q: Why did the blonde cook a chicken for three
and a half days?
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger of top
of the nail when she was hammering?
A: The noise gave her a headache.
Q: Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
A: From trying to blow out lightbulbs
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of
the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house
Q: What is the difference between a dead blonde
in the road, and a dead skunk in the
road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and
a shopping cart?
A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own
Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that
someone had already written on the
overhead transparency?
A: She turned it over and used the other side
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any
Q:: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A: They're too hard to peel
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet
Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes
Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought
an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night
Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated
at the emergency room for a
concussion and severe head wounds?
A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't
wait to see 20,000 leagues under the
sea?
A: She said that she loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so
many teams
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood infront
of the mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide
and Seek?
A: One
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number
ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first
Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's
diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it good for up to 20 pounds
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it
Q: What does the postcard from a blond's vacation
say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!
Why do blondes look in the sky went there's
thunder storm?
They think there go to get there picture taken
How are blondes and turtles alike?
When they are on there backs there SCREWED!
How do you drownd a blonde?
Put a mirror at the bottom of a swimming pool.
How Do you keep a dumb blonde in suspense?
(tell you later)
How do you turn a blonde into a brunette?
Stand her on her head and spred her legs
Why do blondes hate to make Koolaid?
They can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that little package
What does TGIF stand for on a blonde's shoes?
Toes go in first
A bunch of blondes were driving to Disneyland. They're almost there when
they see a
sign that says "Disneyland Left" So they turned around and went
home.
What do you call a blond with two brain cells?
Pegnant
Q: How can you tell when a blonde has used your
word processor?
A: When there is 'liquid paper' on the monitor
Q: Why did the blonde climb the clear glass
wall?
A: To see what was on the other side
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Put Five shovels up on the wall and tell her to take her pick!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Joe Flow
Why do blondes wash their heads in the sink?
Because that's where they wash all their vegetables
what do you call 50 blonds standing in a row?
A wind tunnel
What does a blonde use as protection when having
sex?
A bus shelter.
What does a blonde say after having sex?
So which football team do all you guys play for?
How does a blonde turn the light on after having sex?
She kicks the car door open.
Q: Why are blondes like spaghetti?
A: They both squirm when you eat them
Why are all blond jokes one liners?
So men can get them too
What is the difference bettwen a pregnant blonde and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
One blond was in a cornfield rowing a boat.
Another blonde
came up and said "It's blondes like you that give us a bad name and
if I could swim I'd
come out there and kick your butt"